A Crap Yakari Story
by Black Metalgarurumon
Summary: Sorry bout the title, I couldn't think of one! Basically Matt and Kari start dating to rid of Matt's stalkers. Contains: Yakari, Sokeru. Hints of Daiyako, Kenyako, Kenkeru, Michi, Taito. Also a swearing Flamedramon!


~Disclaimer~ I do not own anything here, They are property of their respective owners

**~Disclaimer~ I do not own anything here, They are property of their respective owners.**

**Matt hid under the bush from his latest stalker, what's-her-name-again? He couldn't care what her name was, as long as she couldn't see him. There were times when he dreaded the fact that he was in a band. He loved music but didn't want to cope with the girls, as strange as that sounded.**

**"Matt, hiding under bushs now? It's slightly better than hiding up a tree from them!" It was Kari, with Davis and TK.**

**"Yeah, Matt, up a tree you couldn't escape!" Davis joked**

**"It's not funny, Davis. Well, at least I have girls chasing me, unlike you!"**

**"He got ya there Davis" TK said to Davis, laughing**

**"Shut up TS" The rest looked at him strangely**

**"MATT!"**

**Another stalker' had found, now the army of darkness will follow him till judgement day. He needed a plan, a good one that'll get rid of them. The first thing that hit him was to get a girlfriend. Or at least pretend that he did. Unfortunately for Kari, she happened to be the closest girl to him. He grabbed her and gave her a long kiss. The faces of the stalkers, TK and Davis were unbelievable. The girls began to run away from Matt, all of them crying in hysterics. TK was laughing and Davis was shouting at Matt.**

**"MATT! DON'T TOUCH KARI! SHE'S MY GIRL!"**

**"What do you mean MY GIRL?" Kari asked Davis, who ignored the question**

**"Thanks, Kari. I needed something to get rid of them and you see"**

**"I get it Matt" TK interrupted "You needed a distraction and the choice was Kari or Davis. I don't think you would have too pleased if Matt kisses you, Davis."**

**"The only problem now is" Matt looked at Kari "We gotta keep up this show and you'll have to watch your back"**

**"Why?" A little white figure appeared, obviously Gatomon "Who wants to fight her?"**

**"Well, she's supposedly stole me from them" Matt answered "Besides I wouldn't mess with Kari, unless you want a beating from Gatomon!" The cat-digimon nodded in agreement. Matt and Kari would now have to pretend to be together. Matt worried about Tai, Davis and other people who said the age difference was too much. Kari wasn't too worried about Davis or Tai but about TK. No-one knew how he felt about he. Did he like her?**

**"Well, we might as well pretend fully Matt" She looked at him, with a smile "You're gonna come over tonight, right?" Matt looked shocked**

**"Wwwhat about Tttai?" She had never seen him stuttering "Won't he hurt me if he knew?"**

**"You assume too much about Tai, he's not that bad" Davis said "He may even approve of it"**

**"Oh and Davis" TK looked at Davis "We mustn't tell anyone that this is only pretend"**

**"Why?" Gatomon and her naïve questions were back**

**"Because it may wreck the decoy and Matt's stalkers will come back"**

**Gatomon nodded. This wasn't going to work was Matt's immediate thought. He felt bad, was using a friend for himself. It was selfish and it made him feel awful. Kari didn't seem to mind so much. Davis was annoyed but also didn't mind. Secretly he had given up on Kari ages ago, he knew she only wanted to be friends. TK, no-one knew about him. He appeared to not mind but did he? They agreed that this would only last until Matt's band's next concert. There, he would tell them to 'go away' (not his actual words) In the meantime, they were together. Kari grabbed Matt's hand and they went off to her house. TK sat down on the nearest bench and Davis next to him**

**"What do you think of that then TJ?" Davis enquired**

**"Nothing, I actually think they don't want to pretend" Davis couldn't believe it**

**"What?! Wait, you like Kari don't you?"**

**"Only as a friend, You?"**

**"I used to..." Davis looked saddened "But now I know we're better off as friends. We've become closer, in fact" TK laughed at this**

**"See, she likes you better now" Davis laughed as well "So who have you got eyes for?" Now Davis stopped laughing**

**"What!?"**

**"Ahh come on! Don't act dumb! W-H-O D-O.."**

**"Ok ok I get it, but you won't believe me" TK began to drink a can "I like.. umm.. you know..." TK looked at him**

**"No I don't, tell me!"**

**"Alright I like Yolei! Ok You feel better now?!" TK spat out the drink he had, laughing at the same time**

**"You and Yolei?! You two fight like cats and dogs!" TK was giggling like mad now**

**"Well, she understands me better than most! ANYWAY IT'S YOUR TURN NOW!" Now it was TK's turn to squirm**

**"Well I... err... ummm Ah crap" TK was sweating "Ok ok I like Sora" Now Davis was laughing.**

**"HAHAHA! Tai's gonna kill you if he found out!"**

**"He knows"**

**"WHAT!?"**

**"Sora and I have been together for two months. You're the last one to find out"**

**"What did he say?"**

**"He couldn't care less. You tell no-one what I'm about to tell you, Ok"**

**"Ok I promise I won't"**

**"You know the girl that sends Matt love letters written on a PC?" Davis nodded**

**"The one who sent him that £200 rolex and flowers?" Again he nodded**

**"That wasn't a girl. It was Tai" Now Davis was in disbelief. He couldn't believe his mentor liked Matt and sent him that amount of stuff.**

**"Does Matt know?"**

**"Nope" TK gave him a death glare "And he won't find out either, will he?"**

**"Nnnnno hhhe wwon't ffind ooout" Davis was scared, he was being threatened by TK. TK then laughed **

**"Ok Davis, if thats sorted, then I suggest that you tell Yolei how you feel!"**

**"NO WAY WE'LL JUST FIGHT!" The conversation continued for hours....**

**~At Kari's house~**

**Matt had been sitting nervously on the couch. Tai walked in and saw him there. Tai sat down next to Matt.**

**"Hey Matt, what you doing here?"**

**"Ummm... with Kari"**

**"With Kari?" Tai thought to himself *What does he mean?* Kari then walked in**

**"Me and Kari are you know.." Tai's heart was being slowly crushed by his best friend and his sister. He just couldn't take it**

**"I have to go the toilet, be right back!" This is despite the fact he left the apartment**

**"That went better than expected!" Matt smiled at Kari**

**"Well then.." She reached up and kissed him "Can we talk?" She pulled him into her room, to be alone...**

**~The bench~**

**"Wait a sec... Lets figure this out right?!" Davis looked at TK, who had dragged Patamon and Demiveemon into the arguement. Davis began.**

**"I like Yolei, who likes Ken." TK then spoke**

**"But Ken likes Me, whos with Sora, who's best friend is Mimi"**

**"Who likes Tai, but Tai likes Matt" Patamon interrupted "But Matt is pretending to be with Kari"**

**"Davish, doesn't Kari like Matt though" Demiveemon looked up at his partner. The others looked at him, confused.**

**"And you would know this how?" Davis asked**

**"Easy! You wanna know why Jun has stopped following Matt?"**

**"What's Jun gotta do with it?"**

**"Well remember when Kari came over to see her?" Davis nodded "Kari threatened Jun that if she went near Matt, she would set Angewomon on her"**

**"Oh great I'm confused enough as it is"**

**~Kari's Room~**

**"Matt I got something to tell you" Matt looked at the younger girl "I.i..iloveyousomuch"**

**Matt couldn't take in what he had heard. He now understood why she had so willing accepted the idea of a fake relationship. So she could have a chance at a real one. But to be honest with himself, he did feel the same way.**

**"Me too, hey you wanna go see a movie now or something?" Matt's day just got a whole lot better... "We can go through the park if you like"**

**"Sure!" She beamed a smile at him.**

**~Park Entrance~**

**Matt and Kari walked hand in hand into tbe park, only to hear the familiar voices of their friends. Davis was screaming at Ken who was screaming at Sora. Sora was shouting at Tai, who was arguing with Joe, who was fighting with Mimi. Mimi was beating on Izzy and Yolei was beating on TK. On the side were Demiveemon and Patamon laughing at them. Basically it was chaos.**

**"What the hell is going on here?!" Matt asked Patamon**

**"Basically Davis and TK began arguing and everyone has seemed to joined in"**

**"Why didn't one of you two stop them?!" Kari snarled at them**

**"Because it's quite funny" Patamon told her**

**"I have to argee there love" Matt smiled "But do something guys"**

**"LEAVE IT TO ME, DEMIVEEMON!" The rest sweatdropped**

**Demiveemon digivolve to..... Veemon!**

**"TAICHI I HATE YOU"**

**"TK YOU SCUM"**

**"BITCH" "WHORE" "BASTARD"**

**Veemon armour digivolve to..... Flamedramon, the fire of courage!**

**"DIE KEN DIE!" "SORA YOU COW" "MIMI STOP IT!"**

**"Matt, watch and learn" Flamedramon turned to Matt and then to the fight.**

**"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"**

**The digidestined stopped fighting and looked at one pissed off Flamedramon.**

**"Will you lot stop arguing and sort it out like humans do!" Izzy gave a smartass comment. Bad idea**

**"In a WAR!" Izzy began laughing**

**"FIRE ROCKET!" Izzy then ran off, his trousers on fire. "Anyone else disagree?"**

**Matt and Kari laughed at them and turned and kissed each other.**

**~A/N Sorry for burning Izzy, but he seems to be the one to make smart ass comments. Also for making Flamedramon's shouting in larger words. Please if you review, state if I should sort out the other couples or leave it as it is. Thanks to Hikari T. for the idea of the D. Announcer at the end~**

**D. Announcer: Will the digidestined sort it out? Will Izzy's pants stop burning? Will Flamedramon shut up? Find out next time on digimon, digital monsters!**

**Flamedramon: FIRE ROCKET!**

**D.A.: AHHHHH MY ASS IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Flamedramon: hehehehe....**


End file.
